nyc, summer 2019

the softness of the music

against the clanging of the wheels 

they drag to a stop on the tracks

“what a wonderful world”

pours from his trombone

how can a song so beautiful make me feel so sad?

march 16, 2020 

to those isolated, self-quarantined

to the grieving and scared

to the hopeful and pragmatic

to those who celebrate a birthday

and the ones who mourn a death

to my sister, my daddy, my lover, 

and friends

to the strangers on the L train who 

held thanksgiving as they rode

and to the queers who dance til sunrise at the House of Yes

to those lost and confused

to those who pray 

those who meditate over their morning coffee

to the grateful and to those who persist

to the extro/intro/omnivert

to the depressed and lonely

the suffering, the sick, the newborn babies

to the ones who bravely called their gramma for the first time in a while 

and the ones who call her every day

you’re not alone

i’m with you

drinking coffee and dreaming of the days 

when we can dance again

together

i miss you

i love you

i don’t even know you

i hope that i make people happy

that i make life easier and more simple

that the people who surround me 

feel joy and peace when they’re with me

that i continue to show respect

and i pray to get that in return

love

is the smell of lilies

as you walk into a dry hotel room

in Somewhere, America

it’s realizing the trip home

to cornfields and cows

is the one thing that will make you 

whole again 

it’s knowing that you’re adored

love

is never wanting for anything

because you have it all 

sometimes i wonder if my whole career

will be rattling off degrees and awards

and accolades i have

just to prove that i’m worthy enough

to be 

in 

the

room

“sick and tired of being sick and tired”,

all while having everything i need